The following poem was inspired by the final short story in Ama Ata Aidoo's collection No Sweetness Here, which is entitled "Other Versions." In this story a college student from Ghana, Kofi, leaves his country to study in the United States. Before he departs, he tries to give his mother some money that he earned at his summer job, but she refuses him. Instead he is instructed to give the money to his father. Kofi is shaken by his mother's refusal and one night he tries to give money to a woman in the subway who reminds him of his mother. I wrote this poem to describe that scene from the point of view of the woman. Enjoy!
It was
late night
too late
perhaps
for a woman
like me
riding alone
in a subway
But
those bills
won’t pay
themselves
will they?
Listen,
I don’t mind
really
the gentle rocking
of the car
the blur
of the lights
…it’s home
As I was
saying,
a man
gets on
at 14th
Not from here
clearly
his dress
and
his walk
out of place
But listen,
he stared
that’s right
STARED
at me
I clutched
my handbag
and wrapped
my body
tighter
in my raincoat
Don’t look
at me like
that
I’m still here
aren’t I?
He fumbles
with his wallet
and…
get this…
he hands me
a wad
of cash
Yes, cash
The boy
(for I see
now
that he is
young)
is from Africa
a student
and I
remind him
of his mother
poor thing
Sitting
next to me
now
he looks
at my face
with a strange
expression:
awe, frustration, love
We sit
in silence
staring:
seconds, minutes, hours?
From the platform
he watches
as I wave
goodbye
What? Of course
I didn’t
take the money
What kind of
mother
would I be
if I had?
late night
too late
perhaps
for a woman
like me
riding alone
in a subway
But
those bills
won’t pay
themselves
will they?
Listen,
I don’t mind
really
the gentle rocking
of the car
the blur
of the lights
…it’s home
As I was
saying,
a man
gets on
at 14th
Not from here
clearly
his dress
and
his walk
out of place
But listen,
he stared
that’s right
STARED
at me
I clutched
my handbag
and wrapped
my body
tighter
in my raincoat
Don’t look
at me like
that
I’m still here
aren’t I?
He fumbles
with his wallet
and…
get this…
he hands me
a wad
of cash
Yes, cash
The boy
(for I see
now
that he is
young)
is from Africa
a student
and I
remind him
of his mother
poor thing
Sitting
next to me
now
he looks
at my face
with a strange
expression:
awe, frustration, love
We sit
in silence
staring:
seconds, minutes, hours?
From the platform
he watches
as I wave
goodbye
What? Of course
I didn’t
take the money
What kind of
mother
would I be
if I had?
I think it was so original how you created a poem. I only wish it would've been longer. I like how you played at the similarities of the two mothers, and how deep down all mothers are alike. I found it so true how while the boy thought nothing of giving the money to the woman as in anyway being looked at as bad the woman was terrified that she might get robbed. Seeing the duality of two events was very intersting.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I love how you made this peripheral character the center of your poem...and that you created a poem. Secondly, I thought your take was very interesting on this woman. I personally felt like she was a strong woman, that she did not take the money because she did not need it and that she was not concerned with bills necessarily. It is interesting how in your poem she is talking about needing to take the bills. I did feel though that this woman was motherly as she told the boy to sit down after he was trying to hand her his money. It is so interesting that her refusal to take the money reinforced the image of this woman as his mother. While we do not know the motivations for this woman's refusal of the money, his mother refused it only so he could give the money to her father. Perhaps she was unconcerned with money herself. But I think it goes deeper than that, since she seemed so genuinely happy when he presented her with money (the mother, not the woman on the bus). I was wondering what you thought of the mother's refusal and what the story is communicating with the juxtaposition of the two women. Let me know your thoughts because I'm still trying to develop mine on this particular issue.
ReplyDeleteI loved the way you used some of the words and phrases from Aidoo's text in your poem, but used them to develop a completely different point of view from the one presented in the story. One thing I wondered about when I read the story was whether the woman on the subway might be from Africa, and, if so, if she might have similar feelings of loss/nostalgia/homesickness to those Kofi experiences? Or do you see these feelings as only going in one direction in the story/poem? I thought your poem was very effective in the way you used line breaks, in particular.
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone for your comments and questions, I'm sorry this response is so late!
ReplyDeleteCrissy: I felt that Kofi's attempts to give his mother the money were misguided because it was his father who paid for his college education. The story never really provided a good reason why his father shouldn't get the money (he wasn't abusive, etc.). To me this story illustrated the difference between the mother's love (which needed no compensation) and the father's (which did).
Professor: I didn't think that the woman on the subway was experiencing the same homesickness as Kofi. However, in an early version of the poem I did include the fact that her son was away at college, giving her an emotional connection to Kofi's story. Ultimately I felt that adding this background info about her character slowed down the pacing of the poem too much so I took it out...